Tricia's Place

This morning I grabbed a cup of coffee, fed the Mont’s and headed outside to curl up in the chair and just watch nature waking up. The birds where singing from the trees, but there was one red one that stood out from all the rest. He really wanted to sing and he made a triangle of the trees and flew to one corner of the triangle then the other and bellowed out is song. I really wondered what he was singing about, was it a mating song, or did he just love the sound of his voice and just needed to sing.

Monty went about is usual business of sniffing everything in sight. I know that other animals visit the yard during the night, and it is a happy sniffing adventure each morning for Monty. The most frequent guest in our back yard is the cat. I do not know who he belongs to, but he comes by the yard a few times a day. He perches himself on the top of the fence and Monty so tries to reach him. Then the cat got braver and started to lie inside the fence. There has been a few times where Monty and the cat are about a foot apart and then all hell breaks loose. The cat gets on his hind feet, and the front paws come off the ground and the hissing begins, which causes Monty to bark, and then the cat runs, and Monty chases him. So you would think that the cat would not come back, but no, he teases the hell out of Monty. Sometimes he will stretch out on the other side of the fence, and Monty on this side, and they both can see each other and smell each other. I hope someday they will come to a truce and give up the absurdity, but until then I guess it is fun for both of them.

There are times I just want to put my hands up and just say I give up, but that is not in my nature and sooner or later I will either die or live a healthier life. Let’s hope it is the last one, and not the first one.

Life is busy, and on Friday I developed a weird symptom of getting hives on my hands when they got cold, Saturday was the same thing and by Sunday morning I experienced the worst of it. I went out shopping for groceries early morning and it was cold out, about 34 degrees, when I walked into the store I noticed my hands where really red from the steering wheel being so cold. No biggie, it seems to disappear when the hands get warm. I finished my shopping and was loading everything into the car and a cold blast of air hit my face, and then it happened, as my entire body erupted in hives. I got into the car and was about 3 minutes from the house, so I called Alan to make sure the door was open. He couldn’t quite understand what I was mumbling, but he got the door open for me, and when I walked in and he saw me, he was totally shocked. I immediately stripped, because the clothes on the body where just too much, and my body was a total mess. When I started having trouble breathing we decided to go to the emergency room, where they took really good care of me, and within 2 hours the hives where gone, and I was breathing normally. They diagnosed me with cold urticaria, and put me on a whole bunch of meds to control the hives. Today I went to see a Allergy doctor and he truly thinks that it will be temporary, and he thinks that my immune system is really low, and I have been sick so that seems logical. He also said that if it doesn’t clear up, it could be the cancer cells, and I might need to see my neuro oncologist. Let’s hope that will not be the case.

I know will be carrying 2 epi pens just in case, and since we are headed cross country by car, it is important to have them since it could be a trek to get to a hospital.

I often wonder if I am ever going to get back on my bike. Every time I am ready to take the plunge I get sick or life becomes so busy with the moving. I am still holding out hope that when things calm down and we are settled in our new place to live in San Antonio, I will be back on the bike and things will get better. Now I am on the hunt for a new Neuro Oncologist and new family practitioner so wish me luck because trying to find a doctor that is taking new patients can be extremely hard.

I think cancer just takes so much out of you, whether it is physically or mentally, and even when you are finished with your treatments the fear lingers in the back of your mind.  I completely broke down a couple of weeks ago, when I went for my MRI because of headaches.  For some reason as they stuck the needle into my vein, the tears started to fill my eyes and running down my cheeks.  I settled down, then it was time for the MRI, and once again the tears flowed freely and we had to reschedule the MRI for the following week.  I am a pretty strong person, and these things really don't happen often, so I felt embarrassed, but realized that I have been holding all the fear inside of me and this was the last  straw that broke me.  I am scared, I am always scared, I push it out of my mind, but it is always lurking,

The following week I was sedated for my MRI, and things went without a hitch, and today I got the news that everything is fine.  Is it gone, that answer is no, but it is not active, so all is good.  Woot!

Sunday I went for a bike ride and managed to get myself in so much trouble that I am wondering if I will ever be able to bike like I once did.

I only went 25 miles, overheated, and ended up the rest of the day on the sofa sleeping.  Even my favorite glass of wine, did not help, or put a smile on my face, I was absolutely miserable.  I went to bed very early that night, and by Monday morning I seemed okay, but still slightly tired.  Today, just a overwhelming soreness has crept into my bones, but at least my head is clear, and I am writing which is always a good sign.   :)

My computer recently bit the dust, so I have ordered another one, and am getting the old one fixed.  Since Gateway has changed the way they do business, I am not overly impressed with their service and choose not to buy one of their PC.  My husband and I have been purchasing Gateways for such a long time, probably close to 14 years if not more, but things change, and now we are headed down another road.

Well that is all for now.

Tricia

I had such a wonderful sleep last night that I woke up feeling rejuvenated, and I had no headache, which is a first in many weeks. I have been listening to a nighttime meditation with my head elevated, which seems to be helping. Oh, and I am sucking down the chocolate milk as though I will never have it again. LOL

Last week I went shopping for clothes and birthday presents for my grandchildren, got my hair done, which needed it so badly, cooked some great suppers, rode my bike for a whole 17 miles. I know 17 miles is not a lot, but it is a start to getting back on the bike. Pam and Bill came over to open the pool and we all enjoyed a good swim, and of course a great dinner. Oh, and I was alone for a couple of days while Alan was up in Vermont.

I helped my sister hook up teamspeak so that we could talk through the computer, which is so much better then holding my phone to the ear.

Well that was my week, not eventful, but peaceful in many ways.

There is a fog outside this early morning, and my mountains that I so cherish have disappeared into this fog. Yes sometimes I feel like I have been in this fog, but when it lifts, I am surrounded by beautiful color, family, joy, and knowing that I am at peace and enwrapped with abundance of fortune. My shards of my crystal have reached Texas and spread to every friend, family and outward to encompass what it needs to encompass. Wake up world and feel the power of our crystal for you are part of me, and I am part of you. You do not need to live in a fog let the energy flow through you and the fog will lift. For you have received the light of the crystal, here the song of beauty of nature for it will lead you into the right direction. Be calm, be steady, be aware, that is all I ask of you, walk beside me for we are one, entwined. May your fog be lifted today and believe and watch. Thank you for being.

Well good morning world, yes, I am doing mighty well today, and I feel like I can conquer the most mundane thoughts today. LOL For the past 5 months, I have been unusual quiet with my writings, and actually have sort of disappeared into my own self, but that is what I needed to be able to take on my new chapter in my life. The quietness was me hibernating, in my own little cocoon, just waiting for the right moment to emerge with a new enlightenment. So here I am, slowly waking from my cocoon, with a new appreciation of self-worth, joyfulness, and ready to take on the obstacles lying in my path with a quick Zap of energy to remove all of them.

There are many people who have stood by my side, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart, that they did not push too hard, tried to understand why I was what I was. I have had people who just know me from my blog reach out to me, people that I met through cycling, dear friends and family, and every one of those nudges brought me closer to this new beginning. I am ready now, and amazing things are going to happen, just watch the transformation.

I know that I will have my children and their children around me in the near future, I can see it, and yes, it will be sad to leave my dearest friends behind, but look at the bright side of things, you can always come visit. Now do not think that this will happen overnight, I just know in my heart that Alan and I will have our family near us and we will both be overjoyed. It is meant to be, and thus it will be.

I am meant to write, I will write, for I have a message that needs to be heard. I have found what I am suppose to do, maybe it has found me, or maybe I have opened my heart up wide enough that the writing will evolve. There is no ending this passage, for there will be many more, a continuous thought of wonderful positive energy. Smile, I am out of my cocoon.

That is about the only sound I can hear in the house except for the clicking of the keyboard as I type this.  My sister leaves very early in the morning and I should be in bed getting some much needed rest, but it is just not meant to be.  It is only 2:30 in the morning, and I am wide awake, just thinking about the previous days, and what I might want to do today.  Hmmm, I am seeing a nap in my near future.  LOL

I had a really good time with my sister, and like sisters do, we talked quite a bit about everything.  Spring should be upon them when she gets back to Vermont, and I hope like the flowers that pop up to a new spring, that she also has a sense of renewal and will blossom within the next few months. 

It was great that she was here, and I know how hard it was for her to travel by herself, but maybe this is just the beginning for her. 

Before leaving Sedona yesterday we stopped at a shop where my sis bought a pair of earrings, and then we headed to the chapel in the rocks. 

Long ride home but uneventful, and I slept really great last night.  Oh ya, went to PF Changs for a early dinner, and it was so beautiful we where able to eat outside. 

This is her last day with me, so not sure what we are going to do.  Later all!

My sister is in town visiting, and I so wanted to show her something really cool, and different, so yesterday morning we left the house around 7 and arrived in Sedona at 10:30.  Her first glimpse of the red rocks, I knew for sure that she was in awe.

We found our hotel,  left our bags at the front desk, and proceeded to the first Vortex.  Parking was difficult, so we had to go up the mountain, then turn around head back down, and sure enough the Vortex welcomed us with a nice little parking space.  It didn't take too long to climb to the top of the huge red rock.  We got the pictures out of the way, and settled down to do a little meditation.

Next on the list we found a women to read our aura's and a reading.  That was real interesting, for me I am Gold and Green, and without her even knowing anything about me, she hit some things right on the head.  Actually I could tell that she had greater access to my angels, but when she said that I had so many Angels around me, and they where all talking at once, I sort of laughed, because I know I have my angels. Then my angels gave her a message that I need to write, and sometime in the future I will be published.  Well, that just shocked me, and anyone who knows me real well, knows that I have always had the desire to write.  She did a healing session with me with sound vibration.  She did not know that I had cancer, but told  me the Angels said I have a choice to live or to die from my illness.  If I give in and have bad energy I will die, if I can maintain the good thoughts and good energy like I had been doing I will live to do what I need to do in this life.  Very interesting, because the past 3 months or so, I have been in a slump. Ok, enough about the readings, and little old me.

Next was a bite to eat, a quick shopping expedition and on to the next excitement of the day.   Bet you can't guess what we did next!  Come on, try to guess!

We went for a four wheel drive jeep tour.  Woo Hoo ride em' cowboy. 

For 2 hours we did nothing but laugh, and truly enjoyed the ride and the scenery.  We got back to the hotel about 8 at night, and it wasn't too long before we called it a day/night, and got some rest.

Today not so sure what will happen, but we are game for anything.

Love

Tricia